Homeostasis
by Calesvol
Summary: A follow up to Girls and Wolves, after months and months of an abusive arranged marriage, Integra has returned home to Hellsing. But Hellsing's director is clearly suffering from PTSD and needs to regain a sense of control after so long of being without. So, she enlists Alucard to be the vehicle to facilitate healing on her terms, to begin coping and recovering.


Warning(s]: Explicit sex, highly NSFW, pegging, F/M anal sex, dub-con/non-son mentions, abusive relationship mentions

* * *

"Alucard–" She hadn't been allowed a further breath before she was swept without intention and ideation into his arms, mouth covering hers in a deep and consuming kiss. Months, months–so much time had passed the derelict sentiments from before were summoned and manifested in great surprise. Alucard had never been like this before, much of her sensing its transience. This was only temporary, wasn't it? Even so, she kissed back just barely, maybe she craving it more than she thought. She was home. After months of being abroad for an arranged marriage, within her new husband's vice in Rome, Integra Hellsing was home in Hellsing. She trembled. By all damned eyes that could see her, she did tremble. It is not the scared tremble of a girlish nightmare haunting her mind, but more akin to an addict's unconscious quiver when in withdrawal.

Integra never thought she'd think of these arms as home.

Months of being abroad in Italy had seen her arranged to marry a high-ranking official within Iscariot for the sake of peace; in exchange for her hand, it would spell about a temporary lull in their hostilities and bring about a time of peace Crown and Country desperately needed when the Nazi's were beginning their strike upon England as well. What hadn't been precedented was how abusive and inhumane her husband was. Sir Integra Hellsing was a defiantly strong woman and had held her own, but even Hellsing's director had her limits.

The kiss was released silently, Integra's head bowing in a dignified silence as it gave her a moment to collect herself. "Were you so worried after my person, Servant? I thought you wanted your freedom," she murmured quietly, strength and power still ebbing in its silence and quiescence. He never replied, instead burying his face against her neck and listening to that missed lull of her blood's beating pulsation through her veins. The intoxication of a heart still vigorous and strong.

"Your saturated in his stink. _I don't like it_ ," he growled, a simplistic answer only expected of him, his child-brain. _And I do?_ she challenged with vitriol in the recesses of her mind. The proper response would've been a firm backhand, to dispel this insubordination firmly and fiercely and reacquaint herself with her days and nights. But…God as her witness, it felt so relieving. She couldn't explain it. From a relationship that had been an emotionless boil of fucking and suppression and fights for power, Integra still had her breaking point. No kind, human touch had been offered to her and to be suddenly so cherished in her servant's embrace, this creature who was succumbing to a nursing sentiment they might both share, made her want to collapse. Cry her wrath and hatred of what had humiliated her and shout expletives. But she was too broken to.

Not enough to never regain her former self and power, but time would be needed to mend the pieces. Alucard would hate her again after he left this room. But while he was here, he was hers. She owned him, body and soul. Twisted as it was, it made it less lonely than this recovery could've been. A hand to his chest encouraged space, but one ascended to cup his face, the vampire's expression inscrutable and unreadable. But she knew better. He'd missed her, had fought with every force of his being, necessary as it may have been. Against those who intended to keep her in Italy, the battle that finally saw her liberation. Her destructive, dark angel; only there in these profusely rare and raw times. His forehead touched hers, this tenderness undeniably impossible for them. What had preceded it had been nothing less than an extraordinary circumstance.

Bronzed features remained unbroken in spite of her inner turmoil, they both pictures of a statuesque match. Connected eyes belayed something profoundly deeper, the betrayal of worry and tender sentiments that ought not exist. "I have an order of you, servant. You are to expunge the filth of that man from my person in any way you see fit, is that clear?" she speaks directly, and he knows what she means. Can see it in her mind, what was wanted; coitus that might help her begin to forget to sensation of the Italian's body from her own. No, it couldn't be all at once. They knew this, but it wouldn't stop them.

Once more, they'd be using each other. In a dizzied frenzy that felt like the last, his lips would attack hers again and Integra would be open to receive it for once. This would do nothing to diminish the dominant stance she had over him, but for the beginning, she'd let him have his way. Let him grope her breasts and elicit sharp hisses that would be the closest to a moan he'd receive, she hopping once to cinch her legs better about his waist, her ass grabbed to hoist her a little higher. No, they knew it in each other's eyes. The mere breath between where clarity still was before it'd be drowned in this ferocious haze once more.

Integra felt an absolute swell of power that she'd missed with Bison. With a single word she could make him do whatever she pleased, wordlessly steer this direction however she wanted with even just a hand upon his throat and visions from her mind bombarding his. Integra controlled this, just as she controlled him. Yet, Alucard stilled as her mind drew to a blank, lowering her but doing nothing to lessen the proximity between them. "On your knees," she ordered suddenly, the vampire staring at her enigmatically but allowing a grin to wryly span his features. No, he wouldn't take her; she wouldn't let him. Integra would do as it was done unto her and take, take, take! Just as men did. Just as her husband had.

Alucard was kept like this, Integra's hands splaying on the nape of his neck before she seized his wrists from behind, bosom conforming to the curve of his long spine, Alucard now reduced to a bitch on his back barely able to crane enough to glance at her–arrested and bound at his forearms. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but the vampire was too aroused by her dominance to care. He moaned openly as he writhed restlessly, digits twitching in their bound as she arrested him with leather instead of cloth, propped on his knees with his face to the floor. But as she came, she was away again, footfalls clopping loudly as heels thundered vibrato more intimately perceived through hard wood floors. Ass up, knees stiff, and face against the floor.

Within her bedroom, Integra found what she sought. Bought as a teenager, she hadn't known why it'd been purchased at all. A reminder, perhaps. A perverse and private form of humor to reflect upon when the men in her life dare underestimate her. A mere look and visualizing herself fucking them had brought solace to the teenage, easily wounded ego. But she was a woman now and hadn't even touched it in years. Within her mind's eye, Alucard saw it. He began chuckling, strained with how he was suspended, knowing it now. It, and generous amounts of lube.

She began to don herself with it in a dignified manner, still clothed whilst Alucard could remain quite the opposite. It was arousing for her this way, when the dominant partner remain clothed whilst the one taking it was stripped like the slut she imagined they liked to be. "You're my whore, Alucard. I'm going to remind you why you are mine. Why you'll never receive freedom from me except in death." This made his grin falter, the Nosferatu quieting and turning enough that bangs could cover his eyes. Though she spoke in that riveting coldness, it wasn't until she was behind him again and ruthlessly tearing off his trousers and undergarments and whipping away the lengthened coattails of his duster, rigging his suit coat and dress shirt high enough to ascend up his spine, that it became apparent.

The preparation was loveless, but thorough. Integra prepared him as well as any experienced man would, a silent discourse of wants and needs spanning between them via thought. Though she could take him as roughly as any man, there was still active consent, always. A Master cared for their servant and she knew his history. Throughout it, he moaned like a whore, bringing graven and smug praises from the woman that continued to arouse him. Perspiring, his skin was lathered with a sheen of lukewarm sweat whilst Integra was hardly even bothered. This elicited a small smile from the woman; seeing such a powerful beast beneath her soothed the ravages of the months before for now. To regain control, to bring a sense of normalcy back.

Alucard grunted as he was penetrated, nothing gentle about it. With his forearms bound, by her ample strength did she grab a fistful of his hair like reins and forced his spine to arch so the entrance would be easier for her. Sir Integra numbly thought of those images, those disturbing ones where the Italian pried into those primal fears and suddenly it seemed lessened. Integra wasn't being violated; she was the one doing the violating. Yes, the consent was clear, but the feeling was enough to make her hips buck and draw a sharp and wanton moan from the monster. Control. The force that made her life able to function as well it had in the past decade.

The vampire was beside himself in the pain and pleasure, coitus rare and of this nature rarer still. His muscles ached from holding this pose, spine creaking and strands of hair pulling as she fucked him brutally, rocking from the fervor. Flesh and cloth clapped together, more muffled had she been bare, but he was too delirious to care. Integra grit her teeth as her upper lip began to worry. She'd been strong this whole time. The Lioness had never lost her dignity, even in the most humiliating of moments, but she was human. Distantly, Alucard was aware of the white noise suddenly in her mind as she unleashed months of suppressed emotions and fucked them into him. Raw feelings of anger, of sex, of being driven so low that it made her beside herself in wrath before the Englishwoman could collect herself. Integra's glasses fogged as her eyes filled with hot moisture and steamed them. But no whimpers were uttered, no mewls before breaking.

Alucard gasped sharply as he climaxed, semen spurting from the head of his pulsating cock and smearing upon the floor, Integra's incessant motion stopping. Perhaps she'd cum, perhaps she hadn't, but by this time she'd forgotten her arousal at all. Silence loomed heavily between them, Integra silently removing herself from her servant and unleashing the straps tethered about her thighs and waist. Letting it fall, straightening and crisply soothing the wrinkles on her trousers, she coldly wiped away the gathering tears before they could fall and slid her glasses back into place. A sigh that was heavier than it should have been was the only indication of it being there at all.

"He won't be coming back anytime soon, Integra," Alucard rasped from the blue, the woman's own glacial eyes alighting to her monster. A welling sense of possession bloomed in her breast and it dawned on her that she couldn't leave Alucard like this. Carefully, she undid the ties and he reflexively lowered his arms sore from the entrapment. He pulled his pants up on his own, fixing his own raiment back into place, but she knew he still needed care. It had been undoubtedly intense upon him, the knight taking it upon herself to wipe the floor clean before disposing of the spent handkerchief. A love seat was gratefully near, she silently bidding him to lay his head on her lap while she stroked through his hair, the vampire blinking drowsily from the sudden exhaustion.

"You don't know that, Alucard. What will you do if he does? Abandon me for the freedom you so crave?" He grew guiltily silent, that passion still unyielding. But in this moment, it faltered. Integra still had a hold on his mind, one she was very well aware of. One she wasn't above utilizing and manipulating in him to the fullest. Then why should he feel guilty?

Alucard knew he couldn't respond. The utmost loyalty to his Master was growing dangerously thin and superficial, another outlet outside of the blood bond working solely to keep him leashed to her will. One she wasn't far from above wielding as she saw fit. Alucard rolled to his side, burying his face against her pelvis and sighing, resigning himself to this for now.

Neither seemed particularly willing to interrupt this pregnant pause for un-life or life of either.

* * *

 **Last thoughts:** Inspired by a friend's similar idea of trope-breaking sex regarding the whole magically healing sex after an abusive relationship and all. With this, it's a bit of a follow up to **Girls and Wolves** in that Integra has been given a plot-purposed Italian husband married to her via an arranged affair. So, while I guess this unofficially might make it a bit of an inconsistent series, it's something that I like enough to provide background in their love-hate relationship.

In this, there's the Hurt/Comfort trope of healing sex flipped on its head. I try to portray a slightly more realistic take appropriate to the characters where an abused Integra forced into terrible circumstances comes back with PTSD and needs to regain a sense of normalcy. Instead of Alucard fucking her, I flipped it around because, while writing this, it felt far more IC because of how I view Integra as being a dominant person in as many areas of her life as she can be. Being the one to fuck Alucard with a strap-on would help reinstate that sense of control, especially in the dynamics of BDSM where she's the Domme and Alucard her sub. So, obvious D/s aside, I think having her fuck Alucard would begin to help restore that sense of control as well as provide an outlet for her emotions in a way that isn't needlessly sentimental, something I think she'd hate. But as abuse victims always are, one time to help recover won't be enough and she'll definitely need for more time to learn to cope and recover, even though the process won't be enough to rid her of it for good, I think.

In any case, I hope you all liked the read and I'll be writing more in the future!

 **Credits:** Cover art edited but me, although the original piece is _Calm Down..._ by **Telekinez**.

 **~Peace, G.**


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